Apocalypse Now: Mercedes' insane G550 4x4² is coming to America in 2017

If you believe there is an apocalypse a-brewin', you're going to want Mercedes' G550 4x4² as your chariot of choice. Trust me on this.

Mercedes-Benz announced Thursday that it will be bringing the now-legendary G550 4x4² — the four-wheel version of its terrain-squashing G63 AMG 6x6 — to the U.S. market in 2017.

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The 4x4² is distinguished from the standard G-Wagen by its stance. In fact, it boasts 17 inches of ground clearance. To put that into perspective, the average city curb is 4 to 8 inches high.

This, as you might imagine, makes it one accomplished off-roader — or at least an ideal truck for chronically terrible parallel parkers.

The Teutonic box, which, yes, will come in more than just neon green, is powered by the same twin-turbo 4.0-liter V8 engine found between the frame rails of the AMG GT S. Under the well-chiseled hood of the G550 4x4², however, it produces 416 horsepower.

It's down on power compared to the Mercedes sports coupe because, for the 4x4², it has been tuned for torque. Accordingly, it churns out an impressive 450 pound-feet — enough to toss a metric meter of river rock over 100 yards into the air (I assume).

It's also fitted with dual springs and suspension dampers as well as portal axles. Suffice it to say that these allow the truck to travel down the most perilous of roads and easily catch air without worry of damage.

Of course, Mercedes has not yet said how much the G550 4x4² will cost in U.S. showrooms. Likely, it'll be well north of $120,000. That means, only the most well-heeled apocalypse preparers will be able to afford it.

That's OK, though, because even after the fall of civilization, people will still need overproduced hip-hop and trashy action movies... I'm looking at you, Kanye and Nicholas Cage.